


Sefikura Week 2020

by Illusioneery (Arkee)



Category: Compilation of Final Fantasy VII, Final Fantasy VII
Genre: (The Implied Aerti is just one line don't @ me), Angst, Background Relationships, Established Relationship, F/F, Implied Aerith Gainsborough/Tifa Lockhart - Freeform, Implied Sexual Content, Lovers To Enemies To Battle Companions To Lovers, M/M, Minor Character Death, Post-Nibelheim Incident (Compilation of FFVII), Suicidal Thoughts, Sword au, Transistor AU (Kinda?)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-25
Updated: 2020-01-31
Packaged: 2021-02-27 14:15:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 7,067
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22408570
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Arkee/pseuds/Illusioneery
Summary: A little compilation of the ficlet series for Sefikura Week 2020.
Relationships: Sephiroth/Cloud Strife
Comments: 20
Kudos: 61
Collections: Sefikura (Sephiroth/Cloud) Week - Yearly Event





	1. The Remade Town And The New Body (Remake)

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, I bring you pain! I hope you enjoy it ú v ù

Nibelheim burned.

It went down in oranges and reds and the acidic mako green staring from afar before leaving. And maybe, just maybe, it had been his fault for not taking in the signs hidden within those long days of data rooms, books and avoidance; of casual reassurance that all was well until it no longer was, until he was nothing but an outsider standing in a bedroom to tell Zack that there was something wrong and he couldn’t do anything about it.

It burned beautifully.

(It was definitely his fault.)

Cloud wasn’t really sure if he dreamed up the screams in that basement room, in some sort of messed up afterlife, or if they were as real as the mako all around him, but they replayed over and over in his mind nonetheless, until someone or something broke the tube he was in and he fell on the floor abruptly. His breathing immediately became a loud buzzing he couldn’t stand to hear without being taken over by intense pain. His sight swam in mako green, but even so he could notice something was wrong.

There was someone on the medical table, all patched up after whatever they had done to him. But he was no longer breathing.

In fact, Zack was out cold for so long that not even a bit of that lingering heat could be chased. Cloud started trembling with the urge to scream until he finally gave in. He already knew from Sephiroth that SOLDIER was worth much less to the company than what it looked like, but he hadn’t been ready or prepared for…  _ that. _

When the lone scientist they left behind to watch over them came in, attracted by all of his noises, Cloud was no longer thinking straight. He grabbed Zack’s sword that had been sitting nearby and attacked.

There was nothing more left for him there. No Sephiroth, no Zack, no dreams of becoming something better than what he was. No Shinra. Never more. He needed to leave, even if he didn’t know where he should go. He wanted to take on Shinra for all he had lost but there was no way someone like him could do it on his own.

He went outside regardless, after finding clean clothes, — ironically, a first class uniform that felt wrong to wear — sword in hand, too heavy for his weakened body to lift off the ground for long.

Nibelheim had been remade from its ashes, like the bird of legend some folks believed to exist in the town, long ago.

Actually, it was more like it had never burned down to begin with. Cloud could almost believe that for a hot second or two. It could’ve been all a mako dream or a nightmare, and he would wake up in the Tower with Sephiroth, who would try to bribe him to break the rules and stay instead of going back before people woke up in the barracks and noticed he had been gone, that he missed curfew completely, too. He would certainly wake up and—

And  _ what, _ exactly? Sephiroth had burned down his hometown. There was no forgiving that, he thought. It definitely counted as a breakup.

Or it would, if Sephiroth was still alive.

Cloud had made sure he wasn’t, before he ended up in that lab for… Hel knows how long. Well, long enough to make sure a whole town was up and in perfect condition once again.

He thought he’d check out the houses just to make sure he was right and that no one he knew was there. But as soon as he approached one, a bunch of infantrymen surged from the shadows, keen on taking him down for the crime of escaping the mansion as the lab rat he now was.

Cloud missed the simpler life of being one like them, the lowest of the trash in Shinra’s hierarchy. And he harbored no real evil against them either, but it was either defeating them and living or not fighting and being captured. It was an easy choice to make, really.

He wondered if Zack would be mad that his sword not only was used, but was also covered in blood like that. Hmm, maybe not. He had been the one to tell Cloud to finish Sephiroth off, after all.

And yet… He couldn’t help but apologize to the blade in his hands while weeping. He was alone and he was ruining the last bits of companionship he still had. He was—

“Cloud...? Is that you?”

Cloud paled, following the sound of that familiar voice to its source and finding himself staring down at the blade for a long time before being called again and realizing he wasn’t imagining things. Sephiroth’s voice, coming from inside the sword that had pierced him…

Standing in that remade Nibelheim, he hoped it was all just a nightmare.


	2. Baby Bird (Bird)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't even edit this. Anyway, I love the idea of Sephiroth giving silly pet names to people he likes.

Cloud took the sword along because it was all he had left to fight with and all Zack had left behind, but that was pretty much it.

He paled whenever he heard the voice and ignored Sephiroth the best he could; the initial confusion on how in Gaia he was trapped in a blade, the explanation and soft pleading for understanding over a wild story of mind influencing aliens and life long lies.

(He ignored the sobbing even if it reminded him of terrible nights in the aftermath of the labs and tore him up inside.)

It wasn't without reason and it would be alright as long as he could fend off beasts and Shinra troops alike. But it didn't mean it was easy to hear a lullaby meant for him at night — one that Cloud himself had taught — without feeling at least something.

Maybe it was because he didn't have the time to properly mourn the loss of those good things they used to have together. In a moment his hometown had been on fire and in another he had lost consciousness in that reactor, without a proper conversation in between.

"I remember," Sephiroth rambled on as Cloud was trying his best not to break, "that time when I called you 'baby bird' and it just stuck until near the end. I also completely failed to tell you that I figured out I had a wing, back in the mansion. I wish I had been better, to let you touch it. You had me at my worst with all of Hojo's attempts on enhancing me further, after all. There was little that would actually surprise you, except—"

"Please stop trying to talk to me," Cloud said, firmly.

Sephiroth fell silent all at once, leaving him to his own thoughts, to the mourning he had yet to do. To his own misery.

For days after that, he made not even a single sound, to the point Cloud thought he was truly gone for good; just a memory in the back of his mind to bother him sometimes. An echo and nothing more.

But the old Buster started dropping black feathers whenever it cut something down and Cloud knew immediately he was mistaken. He just knew it.

He eventually picked one up and pressed it against his cheek, eyes closed and heart all over the place.

If only he had pressed on further instead of believing things weren't falling apart slowly, maybe… Maybe things would have been better. Maybe they would have dealt with things together and no one in Nibelheim would've died. He would've brought Sephiroth over for dinner and finally brought up the news to his mom that he didn't need any older girlfriend to take care of him. He already had Sephiroth.

He should've taken better care of Sephiroth.

"It's not your fault," Sephiroth offered quietly, "It's my burden to bear alone and I'll gladly take all the blame while paying the price for it."

"Not yours, either," Cloud said as he realized it, "It's just… it's Shinra. And life… They made you into a mess and I didn't know what exactly to look out for. It sucks."

"It doesn't matter. I know you and I know that you're blaming yourself for it even if you say otherwise. Don't do that. Just… let it go. It's not like we can fix any of it anymore, now, can we?"

"...I guess not."

They fell into silence for a long moment before Sephiroth sighed.

"I wish I had told you that I love you more often," he said, "Or at least taken you away from the barracks permanently under the guise of tutoring, just to sleep together more often. Now you're out there and I'm here, and all I have of you is your voice."

"You're not missing much, really. I'm a mess, the world's also a mess… Everything that comes out of me is mako colored… It must be better to be a hm, caged bird in a sword getting a free ride around?"

"I'd prefer being free to pass on, but I'm grateful for the sentiment."

Cloud pressed his forehead against the blade and sighed. Surely, he was still upset for Nibelheim, but he didn't want to be alone, even if things couldn't work out ever again. If the only positive human contact he was going to get was a former war criminal's — because really, that was what Sephiroth was — spirit trapped in a sword, he'd simply take it.

“Is it too selfish if I have you stay?” He eventually asked.

“I’d take it as revenge for all the days I made you miss curfew.” Sephiroth laughed, more of a nervous little laugh than anything else. “So, what’s the plan?”

“I catch a chocobo and we head back to Midgar.”

“Oh. You want to take down Shinra, baby bird?”

“I— Yes, but I don’t think I can. But I was stationed in Midgar for a long time before, so at least it’ll be a familiar place to start with. Maybe—”

“Do it.”

Cloud raised an eyebrow at him. Not that it had the desired effect when Sephiroth couldn’t even see him or had a body to properly react at that.

“It won’t give back my body and it won’t give back all that you lost, but at least it’ll bring some closure… to whatever this situation is.”

“Maybe you’re right. Let’s go.”

Sephiroth listened for footsteps as Cloud got up and started going, falling quiet for a few minutes before a realization hit him. Nibelheim was a mountain town. The most Cloud had travelled had been from there to Midgar and from Midgar to a lot of chocoboless places.

“Cloud.”

“Hm?”

“...Do you even know how to catch a chocobo?”

The way Cloud answered him, he could almost see the shrug accompanying it.

“Not at all. I guess I’ll just figure out when I find one.”

Baffled, Sephiroth fell silent once again.


	3. Inside (Rain)

Sephiroth knew the names of all the active anti-Shinra groups by heart, or at least those from the time he had been alive in a more human sense.

He never really wanted the knowledge, merely forced to know it because they used to be the enemy back then. Then again, he never really thought it would come the day Cloud would be browsing for one to possibly work for. Or the day he would be a talking sword of all things. Life was… truly fantastic in the way it messed up things, really.

"I could just start my own," Cloud suggested and made it sound simple, just like all else that came out of his mouth in those kinds of discussions sometimes, "Maybe I could attract people with my big Sephiroth talking sword."

"You could, yes. It would also prompt Shinra to come after us for me. I wonder what they'd do with me being a literal weapon now…"

"Shh, no. Don't even mention it. I… Gaia. I don't want another Nibelheim to happen."

They stopped just outside town when they finally made it there and Sephiroth could tell, for two things. One was that Cloud stopped like so for a long time and another was that he stayed very quiet and unmoving.

“Are you considering the fate of the chocobo?” He asked.

“I…” Cloud considered just a little more before saying, “It looks like it’s gonna rain… But I don’t want to be walking all around with a chocobo attracting attention.”

“Leave it in the first stable you find and take shelter?”

“If I get in the city with a chocobo to begin with.”

“Oh, please… Just go in.”

Cloud sighed and obeyed, though it wasn’t really the chocobo he was concerned about. Or attracting any attention, too. He was thinking about what would happen in the aftermath of well… everything.

It wasn’t like he knew how to take a spirit out of a sword to at least grant Sephiroth some rest, after all. And after that… what would be of Cloud himself?

What would become of his life when his heart already felt like it was constantly getting rained on inside?

* * *

Sephiroth said nothing when they got inside a bar, Cloud soaked entirely somehow and needing a place to dry himself off. They had talked enough on the way, lost among the masses after dropping the chocobo off for anyone to even pay enough attention.

But staying quiet was a challenge when there were people around talking about Genesis sightings as if they were discussing the weather instead.

“Cloud,” he risked, when there was enough distraction provided by two drunk patrons threatening one another with chairs, “We need to get out of Midgar.”

“What? Why?”

“Genesis.”

“Genesis— Wait,  _ that _ Genesis? The one with all the clones and shit?”

“The one who came to the reactor to tell me my mother was a monster and to beg me for my cells, as well. We need to find him.”

“Wait, what? Is that the real reason you fled to the mansion acting weird? Why am I only learning of this now? And why would you even want to find that bastard?”

“Too many questions,” he said, a little too quiet for Cloud’s liking, “Yes. And because you were ignoring me. And exactly because he’s like that, we might gain a few things of use to fight Shinra with.”

Genesis might also know something on why he was trapped in a blade like that instead of passing away, Sephiroth thought, obsessed as Genesis had been with the entire Jenova thing and with finding a cure. But he didn’t want to mention that to Cloud and worry him on that issue just yet.

He just wanted the answers.

Cloud sighed.

“So, where to? After the rain, of course.”

“Banora.”


	4. Mixed Signals (Bittersweet)

In their trip to Banora, Cloud avoided talking under the guise of needing a little more time to rest. But all that time, his mind had been busy recalling the past before things fell apart.

He wasn’t going to tell Sephiroth about any of it. Not when that whole situation left then both in an odd spot of craving things that they couldn’t have anymore. But he  _ did _ have a lot of cravings, and it was really frustrating.

Maybe, he could leave the sword behind for a moment and play pretend, tend to himself in the way Sephiroth liked to watch him do, in a long lost past. He could put aside all the tragedy and his losses and just live that fantasy even if for one last time. He could deal with his guilt in doing so later.

But he didn’t have enough courage or the right mood to do so.

Cloud was willing to let the sword guide his path and indulge in sad, guilt heavy conversations, but there was always a voice in the back of his mind reminding him of fire and acidic mako green that was too quick to label him as a traitor and dismiss him to join the worst of the things in the reactor. Just bittersweet reminders and all he couldn’t have; the gentle touches, the soft warm around him, the sweet relief of letting go and allowing himself that kind of release. And the things he shouldn’t allow himself to have, like the love that came from someone who entered his house and cut his mother down to ensure she burned, regardless of whether or not it was due alien shenanigans.

He just ran his hand softly over cold metal that could only offer the bitter reality of all that was gone forever and despair, and didn’t do a thing about himself.

Until Banora was all he could see, broken as he was, ruined as Nibelheim should be. He hadn’t been there to know about it, so he asked.

“Shinra reduced it to this state to get rid of evidence on what Genesis did,” Sephiroth explained, “They never cared about rebuilding, I suppose?”

“No. I guess they didn’t.”

They left behind just the apple trees among the ruins, the open spots emanating the pungent smell of mako that used to leave Cloud dizzy in the past. And that was just enough. If more than one person was reporting Genesis going around, carrying a dumbapple with him, there was only one place they could find him, only one place he’d return to.

And that was Banora, as ruined as it was.

There was a single path to follow that wasn’t covered in the remains of houses and trash and it was leading down. But there wasn’t much other than a little improvised bedroom and another path leading into what looked like a maze.

In the bedroom there was a desk full of awards on the wall next to it and with a journal detailing the innocent dreams of a younger Genesis.

(“I want to share our apples with the hero, Sephiroth, since we’re close in age.”)

It made Cloud feel a little odd, but he sat down in the bed with a sigh regardless, the blade by his side.

“I don’t think I could be his friend again,” Sephiroth eventually said, “It’s like you and me. The circumstances just won’t allow it to be anything more than maybe a truce, even if… even if third parties are also to blame for what happened.”

“Sephiroth…”

“You know it’s true. Even without Nibelheim, I can’t even touch you anymore or see you or keep you warm at night. I’m not even human, I’m… the sword someone else left behind. We’ll eventually frustrate and hurt each other enough that you’ll just leave me behind to sever any ties permanently and there’s nothing I can do about it, is there?”

“Sephiroth, please—”

“Answer me.”

Cloud sighed loudly.

“We’re down in some underground place of some backwater ruins, where some kid wrote down that he wanted to share an apple with you, and I want to forget for one moment all you did back in Nibelheim and that your hm… body, used to be Zack’s sword. I… the bed… it’s comfortable and I just…”

“It’s a bad idea, Cloud.”

“I know, Genesis can show up and it’s kinda weird after all that happened… But, to be honest? I don’t care. Just tell me all the ways you want to fuck me and order me around…”

Sephiroth fell silent for a few moments, baffled and considering. This Cloud, after everything that happened, filled him with all sorts of mixed signals that clashed with all his own mixed signals; a combination of what he could no longer have and what things had become.

“Genesis has lube on his bedside table,” Cloud added.

“Sure, let’s go with your bad ideas for once,” Sephiroth said, giving in and proceeding to tell Cloud where exactly to touch, how deep to push his own fingers inside yourself, how fast to stroke.

It had been far too long, really. He had almost forgotten how sweet Cloud’s moans could be when he was falling apart senselessly like that, stuttering requests on what he should do next, until he was close, too close to hold back.

“Don’t stop,” he told him and heard Cloud curse brokenly at that, “I’ll tell you when to stop, don’t worry.”

He’d forgotten that there was something incredibly satisfying in playing with Cloud like that, even if he couldn’t obtain the same kind of release himself. He could share the despair of that by making things harder for Cloud, by reducing him to a loud mess with voice alone, until…

Cloud started cursing at something, but it was panicky, as if he was fretting to cover himself because someone had come in and caught him in the act, ending up all shocked at the sight and, oh—

“Genesis,” Sephiroth said loud and clear, “long time no see.”


	5. Devil's Deal (Gloves)

Genesis took in the scene before him.

He had only intended to sleep for a little bit, his frail body betraying him at every turn it could, not… finding his bed already occupied by a naughty, cute little blond; his bottle of lube seeing some more use than it would those days and Angeal’s sword just there. It filled him with an odd feeling, a delightful surprise once he realized who that blond was.

“I hear a Sephiroth yet don’t see him anywhere,” he mused aloud, “But I see what looks like a gift of S-cells trying not to cum any further all over my bed? Are we getting generous to dying old me now?”

“Cloud isn’t an object to be gifted around. And he’s not for you, either. We were just...”

“Engaging in bad ideas, yeah. I heard the two of you,” Genesis snorted and, much to his absolute delight, Cloud gasped and tried to cover his face as well. Yeah, he definitely didn’t mind that little thing in his bed if that was a sight he could get from the whole event. “It’s such a waste, though. A sword can’t usually see, unless…”

He approached the bed with a little smile, causing Cloud to assume a more defensive posture, until Genesis pointedly reminded him that his dick was out for all in the room to see… Well, except Sephiroth of course. But that could be solved. He shoved a transparent materia in one of the linked slots and muttered to himself incantations he had discovered in his time seeking a cure for himself.

Something inside the materia swirled, until it was as mako green as Sephiroth’s eyes had been in life.

“You look like shit,” Sephiroth said instead of being either surprised or offering a “thanks”.

“You smell like sword oil, sweat and semen, my friend. You’re not in a position to judge.”

“You came over the sword?” Sephiroth asked Cloud, who grew even more flustered.

“H-how can you two talk about it so casually?! Why ask me anything? I’m not mentally ready for this conversation at all!”

Sephiroth laughed and risked a look at him, despite his limited visual field. He very much liked what he saw, even if he couldn’t reach out to brush Cloud’s hair out of his eyes or kiss his forehead for a job well done. Maybe he preferred it before Genesis decided to be generous enough to give him back his sight. At least he wasn’t tortured by the sight of a spent, overwhelmed and flustered Cloud near him when he couldn’t do a thing about it. But he wasn’t going to complain about whatever it was that Genesis did to him just then.

“I’ve done much worse things with my copies,” Genesis explained and Cloud immediately regretted the question, “So, old friend, what is it that you want from me?”

* * *

“Oh,” Genesis sighed, “You finally came to his senses, then. It only took you getting stuck in a sword and almost five years. Good job.”

Cloud glared daggers at him, now that he was dressed properly and not just exposed on a bed like he was before.

“I don’t think you seem to know this, but Sephiroth didn’t join Shinra from the outside like you. He was basically raised there and—”

“He was too dense to realize he could do more and raise some hell.”

Sephiroth didn’t like much where that kind of discussion was going, because it would eventually lead to him pointing out again just how idiotic Genesis methods were back then, when things started to fall apart and just didn’t stop. And even if he refused the idea of being friends with him again, Sephiroth didn’t want to start a fight and create even more issues for all of them.

“How do you know so much, anyway? You mentioned Cloud being full of… my cells?”

He watched as Genesis crossed his legs and rested his chin on one of his hands, smug smile on his face. Things he really didn’t want to see and that he supposed were being done on purpose now that he could.

“I searched for you,” he explained, “after Nibelheim fell. I thought they had found you and taken you back to the mansion, but you were nowhere to be found. Hojo pumped your little one full of whatever cells he had already saved of you and all I could ever find was… this.”

Genesis took out of his coat and dangled in front of him a pair of black leather gloves that were worn and looked familiar. Of course. Of course all that would be left behind was the only thing he refused to remove in public as often as he probably should. He had always preferred not to associate the blood of outside sources with his skin, after all. He didn’t need to look at his bare hands before bed and be filled with dread. He didn’t want to touch Cloud and flinch back immediately with the reminder of what kind of orders he followed, either.

“Now, about those cells—”

“You can’t have them,” Sephiroth said firmly, “There was a reason why I couldn’t donate any blood to you, while Angeal could. I don’t want to kill you.”

“I thought you told me to ‘go rot’?”

“And I’m not taking that back. You have the bad habit of assuming too many things about me that aren’t true and hurting me instead of asking about it. But we need you to get back at Shinra for it.”

“Oh, so our local talking sword has better plans than me once again? If you’re so smart, then why did you— Hnng!”

Cloud had snatched the gloves from his hands and slapped Genesis with them across the face, uncaring about the possible damage of hitting a degrading person like that. The years and the experimenting had done a number for the better on his physical strength in a way that, if only Sephiroth still had hands, he’d be all over him with touches to explore the changes.

Gloved touches, skin on skin… it didn’t matter.

Genesis had given him a curse by letting him see all of that.

“Alright, alright, let’s see what you have in store.”


	6. To Offer Thee This Silent Sacrifice

There was a Goddess.

Sephiroth found the idea of it absurd and almost laughable; to rely on divine intervention so they could maybe go from being somehow weak — a former lab rat, a sword and a dying man — to something… slightly better, at least. He could see, however, that Cloud found it mildly interesting, just not fully sold on it because that was Genesis, who had made a number of embarrassing lewd comments on that one incident as they journeyed through the underground.

Surely, sometimes Genesis could be of use, like when he took time to explain more of what he knew on Jenova and how it used to be a shapeshifter before its sealing. But there was still much he didn't understand about the technicalities of it all and there was much LOVELESS he could reference by heart.

There was a Goddess and she was an asshole, in a sense.

Her cure didn't come through peaceful means. It was too empowering, a conversion to a full fiend before any relief could be gifted.

But Cloud had a sword, encouraging him to fight the threat.

And he had enough strength to carry Genesis outside afterwards, his healthy colors and power regained, but too tired from the battle to walk on his own.

They sat outside, ate the apples that Sephiroth couldn't, for there was a Goddess but one that was cruel enough not to do something about him.

It was alright, for he had never really been a man of the divine, anyway. Hard and cold science had been beaten into his head from a young age, even if he fought against Hojo's ways in his curiosity. It was alright, but just because he couldn't change it and had to just accept it.

They defeated Genesis, but for once in all those years he had known him, Genesis had also beaten him to something.

"Mind if I borrow your fluff blond wielder for a moment?"

He wanted to say no.

No matter how terrible Sephiroth had been to him, no matter how things could no longer work like they had, Cloud was his and in his powerlessness, he didn't want to be separated from him or left behind. But—

"Go ahead, come back soon."

Genesis didn't waste any time in doing so, their footsteps fading away until they couldn't be heard anymore.

"I know a way to restore Sephiroth," Genesis started, sounding serious and apprehensive.

"But that's great! Why are you like that, then?"

"Well…"

It wasn't easy, Genesis explained, proceeding to steal a hopeful smile with the trouble needed to fix at least part of what had gone wrong, for no cure ever available came without a price attached to it, at least not in that cycle of losing and gaining, gaining and losing.

Cloud Strife looked at him with a serious look so detached from the young man he seemed to be and nodded, accepting it.

It left room to curiosity.

"Why are you agreeing to it so easily after what he did? After what I did that contributed to it?"

"Because it's what fits me best."

"And what is that even supposed to mean?" Genesis asked, but Cloud had already turned away to go back to his sword.

Somewhere in the world, there was something divine waiting and looking out for all sorts of life; judging the ultimate fate of most things.

But when it came to favors, that something required a little sacrifice.


	7. To Fill The Hollowed Heart (Anniversary)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy FF7 23rd anniversary day, everyone! Also happy trailer day! OwO  
> On an important note, this chapter might have a lil dose of a character having suicidal thoughts, so take care.  
> Anyway, thanks in advance for making through the week with me, it was very fun! 
> 
> See you again soon.

Cloud kept the thought at the back of his mind, to dwell on it some more when the other two weren't paying attention to him.

He supposed it wasn't forgiveness that he had agreed to give, but rather an eraser. To begin anew since nothing he ever did would be enough to pay for his personal losses. It was Shinra he wouldn't give even that. It was Shinra he was going to destroy. And about Sephiroth… what use would it have to do the same? 

He had burned down Nibelheim, Cloud had taken his life away. It hadn't fixed anything, it ended up being a desperate solution to a desperate problem, instead. And it threw both of them in even more trouble, anyway. If he executed a revenge… what guarantee did he have that Sephiroth wouldn't return for his head some day? What guaranteed that things wouldn't become even worse than they already were?

He really didn't need or want to forgive the unforgivable, but he didn't have to go around creating more sins, either.

Genesis filled the silence by reciting poetry, in a soft, pleasing tone. Sephiroth stayed quiet for a while, counting the footsteps of the chocobos to distract himself from what he felt as a storm brewing.

(Cloud had, after all, looked at him a little weird once he was back from his talk with Genesis. Like he had just done something cruel to a baby chocobo and wanted to apologize but couldn't find enough courage inside to do so.)

"Before Nibelheim," he eventually said, "I was actually thinking of the best way to… well… Propose to you. For the whole time we dated, you had always had enough age to be in the military and, of course, to date, but never enough to marry. And then you finally had, that August. But I… spiralled into that mess and never did. I just thought you should know. Before anything happens."

Genesis stopped reciting to listen to what he had to say as well, though he didn’t turn to look at them.

“Talking like this, it’s like you’re going away,” Cloud scolded, but it was clear by his voice just how flustered he was by those remarks.

“Maybe I will.”

“Sephiroth—”

“I don’t think my time here is infinite, baby bird,” he sighed, “When I go and all is over, I want you to put that sword to rest somewhere safe. Then I want you to be happy. Don’t cry for me, just… let me be a beautiful memory and—”

“Don’t you dare go,” Cloud snapped, stopping the chocobo to try regaining all the composure he lost, “Don’t you dare, Sephiroth.”

_ Don’t you dare go before I can bring you back. _

“Why? Because you’d miss me?”

“That’s right. So stay.”

Sephiroth hummed absentmindedly but offered no promises, no reassurances and absolutely no guarantees whatsoever that he would do as told.

* * *

Cloud headed right up to the interior garden they had at WRO, because he knew she would be there. He needed the kind of energy that only she could provide, given the date.

Even before he stepped into the room, Aerith dusted off her hands on the skirt part of her apron before wiping away at her forehead in her tiredness. She had cared for the roses and the forget-me-nots, and had a fresh batch of lilies she brought along from her personal greenhouse to plant there. Things were looking way better now than back where Reeve offered her the space.

“Cloud,” she said before turning to face him, “You came. Even if it is… that day.”

His and Sephiroth’s anniversary. It was absolutely the worst day of the year for him, because it only served to remind him that while he was out there, Sephiroth was still… gone.

He had never lasted the trip back to Midgar, but Genesis insisted in trying what he had offered anyway. Especially after they met Aerith who, being a Cetra, could definitely help with it.

But Cloud could only took the offer in earnest when they finally managed to defeat Shinra, their little trio growing into a full group of mismatched folks with that one common goal. By the time he said “Let’s do it now,” he had his hopes shaken, scarred and being held together by sheer stubbornness alone.

“Yes, I… needed to see something pretty today,” he said, staring at nothing in particular.

“That’s very kind of you, but let me remind you that I’m taken and that she said ‘yes’.”

“Of course— Wait a second… she said ‘yes’?”

“Mhmm! Tell Gen that I won the bet and that she looked like a fresh tomato,” Aerith giggled.

“He shouldn’t have made that bet. Everyone knows that if you mention something as small as holding hands, Tifa gets really flustered. She has always been like this.”

“He always has his head in his books and in the clouds. I don’t think he noticed that as much,” she mused, “Anyway! I’m gonna head down to the bar after this. Wanna come?”

“Nah, I think I’ll… y’know. Go see him.”

Aerith approached to pull into a hug with all the might she could manage. It was clear as day in his eye that he needed it desperately, but was too conflicted to even find the words to ask. 

“Don’t wear yourself down too much, ok? It makes you come home looking like shit and you know how much it worries Barret and Tifa to see you like that. And Genesis. But he doesn’t know how to express it.”

“I… will try, yes. Thanks, Aerith. And… congratulations on the engagement.”

* * *

He pressed his face against the glass of the tube, trying not to mind the cold  _ (burning heat— acidic chill— lifeless murmuring) _ of the mako inside or the stinging burn and phantom pain spreading from where his left eye was supposed to be.

Genesis had called it Reunion.

His body craved the missing cells, just the way Sephiroth would probably miss his own cells.

It left Cloud wondering sometimes if his decision hadn’t been influenced by whatever bits of Sephiroth he still had in him. It had him questioning if he should stop things, especially as he watched Genesis work his combination of magic and science to slowly start cultivating something in that tube; freaking Cloud out so much in the beginning that he couldn’t stay in the room.

Not that he really could with the pain coursing through him.

It was a sin, what he had committed.

Not only they were using some mako for that whole mess, they were also trying to play God, under some sort of divine advice that could have been a case of Genesis hallucinating.

_ “Jenova cells have this unique ability of growing into a whole being, if they’re cared for properly and if you have the proper power to do so,” Genesis explained, “Or at least that’s what Hollader told me before I killed him. As long as you have a strong enough sample, you and me together could bring him back, now that I’ve been blessed by the Goddess. Surely, it would take a few years at best, but with some luck, we—” _

_ “I’d give my whole body,” Cloud said without thinking twice. It shocked Genesis into horrified silence for a few moments. _

_ “W-we don’t need that much, just something strong enough.” _

_ “Take my eye, then.” No hesitation. _

_ "Why are you agreeing to it so easily after what he did? After what I did that contributed to it?" _

Cloud still wondered every single day.

“Do I need to forgive you if I’m sinning, too?” He asked the floating body inside, but obviously got no answer.

Once he grew back to completion, other than a scar or another appearing out of nowhere, he had been aging at the same pace as Cloud himself, which… wasn’t all so fast. Something about Jenova cells being a youth fountain, though a dangerous one and not a permanent halt.

Cloud took a moment to get a good look at him before turning his back to the tube and sliding down to sit near it on the floor with a sigh.

“I… bought a ring? It’s silly, but I guess that, just for once… I wanted to pretend things are alright. And to keep creeps off my back too. I guess too many people saw me in a dress a couple years ago and haven’t forgotten it yet.”

He closed his eyes and quietly hummed a lullaby, focused on the sounds of mako bubbles going up and popping in the tube and the silence of the place. Nothing really changed in those years, so as long as he was there, the technicians and sometimes Genesis felt free to go have a break or head home for a bit to give him space.

“Is it weird to keep celebrating our anniversary? I mean, we sort of broke up, right? And maybe we should stay like that, but I… I guess it became tradition. That and visiting the grave I put up for my mom.

I dreamed of her, by the way. She said I could do whatever as long as it makes me happy. But I… I guess I forgot what happy means, y’know? I think I realized it the moment I put that empty sword in Aerith’s church. She dealt with things much better than I did, back then. I wish I had been stronger.”

Cloud didn’t quite realize he was crying until he felt wet warmth dropping from his chin. He took off a glove to rub at his eyes gently. It was always like that and he hated it; he came to that place only to cry and to feel hollow and weak. And he hated crying, especially since he got the prosthesis. Something about it and how he seemed to cry way more than he should was kinda annoying.

“I… I wish I had told you that I loved you more often. I wish I had tried to get into that sword too to keep you company. I wish I could crash while riding my bike and forget everything so it stops hurting. But I… I guess I’m just a fool.”

Maybe he could climb his way into the tube somehow and just... stay there. At least he wouldn’t feel so alone and they could be gone together. It sounded like a bad idea. He’d be yelled at for it and maybe he would worry many people into an early grave, but he didn’t really care. He was tired. Gaia, he was  _ so _ tired.

But at the same time, part of him didn’t want the others to cry.

He just wanted to be gone without that pain.

Behind him, the bubbles became violent, pulling him back from his thoughts slowly and at once, at the same time. Then, knocks on the glass and the sound of… was that someone suffocating? Drowning?

He turned abruptly, pulling on the levers needed to empty the tube and to let warm water flow by to wash the mako away before letting it open, falling to the ground again under the weight of Sephiroth collapsing against him.

_ Hands. He had hands and too much hair and lungs and skin and a heavy, wet weight— _

“C… Cloud…”  _ Vocal chords, he had those. He could feel his throat and all the little shaky breaths he grew unused to. _ “Cloud…”  _ He felt overwhelmed from being able to see through two eyes instead of a materia improvised for that purpose. _ “Your eye… what did you do? Gaia, what did you do?”

_ (I brought you back.) _

“I got myself an anniversary gift.”

Sephiroth wanted to yell at him for being reckless, because he wasn’t worth the sacrifice and was much better off gone forever. But instead he found himself trembling and sobbing against Cloud’s neck, melting easily in face of that sweet foolishness.

“Welcome home,” Cloud murmured against his hair, “It’s good to see you again.”


End file.
